Ugh.

So, I haven’t really been sleeping. And I can’t even blame it on either baby, they’re (knock on wood) pretty good sleepers. Fiona rarely wakes up during the night, and Violet, well, we’re still co-sleeping/nursing, so most of the time all it takes is for me to roll over and stuff a boob in her mouth and she’s back out.

Once I’m asleep, I sleep just fine. I slept through my alarm TWICE this week, which really sucks because as a babysitter, I’m not the only one that’s late. My tardiness has a ripple effect on my employers. I did get there on time today though, so that was good.

It’s the falling asleep that’s the problem. It started Saturday, when I didn’t fall asleep until 5am. Sunday it was 3. Monday and Tuesday 2, and last night about 2:30. Which really doesn’t work out so well, when you consider that I have to be up for work at 6:30. Last night I was fiiiiiiiiinally falling asleep, and then I heard Fiona very clearly say “Mama?” and it sounded like she was right in the doorway of our room and I was like “How in the hell did she get out of her crib?” and so I tried to answer her but I couldn’t make any noise and I realized I was asleep so I WOKE myself up with a start and said “go back to bed, honey” at which point Nate rolled over and mumbled something to the effect of “Did you say something?” But of course she wasn’t in the doorway. She was asleep. In her crib. Like a normal person. And I now had to begin the process of falling asleep all over again.

It’s really starting to be a problem. I can sometimes grab a little nap during the day, but it’s hard to time things to make that happen. I forgo the old adage “Sleep when the baby sleeps”, and substitute my own version, which is usually something along the lines of “Sleep while the one baby sleeps and the other baby is strapped in to her high chair eating a freeze-pop and watching Yo Gabba Gabba”. It works.

Except when it doesn’t. Today was a big day. Grocery shopping day. I’ve been meaning to go since we got home from MA a week ago. I was understandably nervous about this trip, because it was to be my first time going alone with both the girls. And we all know how I feel about grocery shopping anyways…(ps, Wegman’s carts still suck. Who thought it would be a good idea to redesign them so that they can hold LESS groceries?) (oh, and shoutout to the very cool woman who was shopping with her 6-month-old, who told me that her older daughter was 2 also, and gave me nice words of encouragement.) (I would also like to send an ANTI-shoutout to the meddlesome old lady who stopped and told me that she “…hopes I don’t take this the wrong way, but she has 4 children, so she knows… The baby in there[my Moby wrap which I LOVE], it’s not safe. It’s breathing it’s own air. I don’t mean to interfere, but I just love babies!” Really, lady? You think I don’t? Hello, it’s a freaking PIECE OF FABRIC that is actually QUITE open up near her head. She can breath. Thanks. Go choke on a prune.)

Where was I. Grocery shopping. So whatever, I finally did the shopping, it was largely uneventful. Which of course meant I was SUPER proud of myself and seriously called three people and was all “dooood I went grocery shopping! Aren’t I awesome! Aren’t you proud of me? What? You have to go? You don’t actually care? You shop for groceries too? Oh.” And then I remembered that my life must be pretty boring if grocery shopping is exciting. And then I figured I hadn’t bored enough people yet, so I better blog about it, too! Yay!

Oh, I had a doctor appt this afternoon, too. Which I scheduled for 2pm. Cause it’s always nice to have an appointment smack in the middle of nap time.

I had big plans for dinner (yummy but fairly simple-to-make spicy orange glazed chicken and green beans and corn bread), but between the shopping and the waking babies up from naps to go the doctors office, and the whole 4 hours of sleep I got last night (in two 2-hour chunks), I was totally beat. When Nate got home I just went into the kitchen and started grabbing things for dinner. Chicken nuggets. Oooh, French fries. Here, have this leftover white cheddar mac&cheese. Oh, a vegetable…let’s see, we’ve got… corn. As I set Fiona’s plate down on her tray, I realized I was serving them chicken and three different kinds of starch. Plus milk. Awesome. The meal was so white it was blinding. (Well, it wasn’t all like white white, it was more a mix of white, yellow, and light brown, but same thing.) Never a good thing, having a monochromatic meal like that.

So I did the only thing I could do; I started crying about serving three starches at one meal. Cause that’s normal.

I really hope I sleep tonight.

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