I have not, in fact, quit everything.

I’m thinking I may still be going through some sort of post-partumy, thyroidy type depressy stuff. Cause even though most days are great, and I’m finding myself able to get through most days without a nap, some days I sort of feel like life is drowning me, and could I please just sleep through it?

But then I have to look at baby, and just see how ridiculously cute she is. And how big! Last entry she had just started rolling over. Now she is a rolling FIEND and though she hasn’t starting crawling or anything, she can definitely move herself around when she wants to using a combination of rolling and scooting on her back. Also, the kid has TEETH! Two of them! Well, not like full-on teeth. More like two little tooth nubbins. But you can feel both and sort of see one if the angle is right. She’s had her first visit to the playground, first time in the swing, first taste of real food!

We also have TRAVELED extensively. We had planned a trip to St. Louis for Easter, and were very excited about that. It got extended into a 2-week Massachusetts to Poconos to Pittsburgh to St. Louis to Pittsburgh to home road trip… which was pretty exhausting. I started to blog about the reason for the trip, but I’m still having trouble verbalizing it all.

On Friday the 27th of March, I got a phone call. One of my best friends from high school had slipped into a coma. She has been ill for a long time, battling cystic fibrosis. Things were not looking good at all. I was able to say my goodbyes over the phone as her husband held a cell phone to her ear. She regained consciousness a few times, but there was really nothing else the doctors or the hospital could do. She was able to go home to be with her family, and on the following Tuesday I got the call that she had passed away during the night. We booked it on up to MA to be there for the burial and the memorial service later that week.

That’s a hard thing to do, bury a friend. But at the same time, it was really nice to know that she is no longer in any pain. That she’s no longer sick. That she can finally laugh- really laugh- without doubling over in coughs that wrack her entire body. That for somebody with cystic fibrosis, she had an incredible, full life-she got to grow up, go to college, get married. The service they had for her was called a “Celebration of Life” and it really was. As she requested, everyone wore purple and white and bright springtime colors. People read poems, sang songs, told stories of her life. As we sat there and I recalled my favorite memories, I quickly realized that none of them were appropriate. Everyone was getting up and saying things like “she was always so sweet” and “such a loving person” and all these lovely things… I didn’t want to be the one to get up and say something like “I remember this time we all got up on a table at a dance and shook it to The Thong Song” or “There was this one time we stole some champagne from a party and brought it out to our friend’s uncle’s lake house” or… yeah. I just went over those things in my head and smiled. So here’s to Lila. For all the good times.

The five of us girls in…2002? I think?

Lila and Luke on their wedding day in 2006.

The last time all of us were together- my wedding in 2007.

But yeah. Though the reason for the extended trip was not the best, it ended up being a very nice visit with all of the many many people we visited and stayed with.

The trip did, however, really throw me off. With all the driving, and the sleeping at other people’s houses, and the not following naptime schedules… I am glad to be home, but this week has sort of been a struggle to get back into real life.

But back into real life I am. Today I cleaned out my email inboxes. That felt good. Tomorrow I plan to actually tackle answering emails that I received while I was gone. Tomorrow I will go for a run. (Half-marathon in 2 weeks? HAHA! That’s rich. Should be… interesting… and AMANDA BOODEN YOU HAD BETTER NOT FINK OUT ON ME!!!) Tomorrow I have plans to transform the backyard into a much cooler place to be- clothesline, vegetable patch, baby swing, patio furniture. I’ve got big plans for this weekend.

Big plans.

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2 comments

  1. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. You are in our prayers! BTW, I’m glad you’ve returned to the blogging world. đŸ™‚

  2. Boo told me about Lila. I’m so sorry y’all had to go through that but you are right, now she can really laugh. Good luck getting back to the real world and transforming your garden. See you in a couple months at the Boo-Renaud wedding!

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